Great topic, and yes, we need to talk more about it to bring it out from the shadows of "shame".
Two things come up for me here: one, we instinctively look for authenticity in other people's behaviour, and when we feel it, we relax and allow ourselves to be who we are.
By the way, I prefer to use the word 'authentic' rather than 'vulnerable' as the latter has a disempowering connotation of being 'exposed' which immediately activates the ego to shut it down and raise the wall of protection. Being authentic is not threatening to the ego. It means 'this is who I am'.
Secondly, whether in the spotlight on stage or in daily life, the best way to combat the fear of being judged is to laugh at our mistakes, imperfections and faux pas; to acknowledge them rather than trying to hide. Initially, it takes courage, but soon becomes a habit when we notice its disarming effect on others.
Thanks for saying this! It’s definitely important and timely with tech takeover. I feel authentic/vulnerable with what I share here, but keep going anyway as I stop taking myself and my story so seriously!
I'd like a stick pin to pop the proverbial balloon. Not yours, Aidan... But when did "BE"-ing Human go out of style? And who said we couldn't be just that...human?
As for me?
I'll opt The Road Less Traveled.
I like being me, I like being real, authentic, and as genuine as I can be...
And while I am certainly imperfect, and yes...it's not fun to have mud on my face after I fall down...
I get back up, smile that sheepish smile, and realize it's exactly my imperfections that keep me humble and truly ADD to...not take away, from my Human experience.
I'm done being a clone, having the world's expectations put on me, and i even wear my sweats to church if I decide to.
Our Hearts are what matters.
Are we kind? Loving? Honest? And yes...are we brave enough to have that vulnerability and simply be free? Comfortable in our own unique "Skin."
I am a preacher. I am known as an incredible preacher. I own it. People tell me about sermons I preached thirty years ago. Then in my new position, in the last two weeks I have preached two duds. Not poorly written. Just did not fit the congregations. Fell flat. And I have decided that it is a developmental milestone. I cannot set for myself the expectation that every single sermon I ever preach in my life will be a barn burner. That flat sermon is so last week. And the other is so two weeks ago. Not fun, but I can relax. This week, on the other hand, I will enjoy...
Aidan,I liked your post and it came at just the perfect time. It is the first post I have read of yours and will continue to read more. I have been trying for hours to find out why the first Substack I posted yesterday is blank. Since I am technologically challenged I have been unable to understand what I need to do to correct this situation. Have I embarrassed myself? I think so. In the process I intend to keep learning. I love to write and now I have the time. Thanks for inspiring me to continue searching, learning and not requiring myself to be perfect.
It makes sense that whether it's online or in real life, it's normal to feel the desire to present yourself under the best light. We basically market our existence. However, marketing one's existence by sharing bits of life and opinion should not mean being phony. Authenticity today more than ever before is a valuable asset and, in my opinion, in very short supply.
I find that there is a relation between vulnerability and authenticity.
Whether we are talking about writing, ideas, or personality in general, I'm sure we can agree that differentiation is key. It's basically elements with peculiar character that make the world interesting.
The negative way to say this is that the more we standardize things (people or thought) the more the world becomes boring.
That's the beauty of mistakes from time to time – they're unexpected and off track. Some of the best cooking recipes are either the result of mistakes or the result of lack of plan... cooking with leftovers, for example. That applies to invention as well...
I would say that Instagram has done a great job at creating in people's minds the idea that the image of someone is way more important than the person themselves.
As for writers, I'm sure some of you have read articles that feel cold and where the author seems not there... a cold sequence of words with 0 degrees of vulnerability where AI took over.
I used to feel depressed about that... but finally became more cynical to realize that this over-curated presented self also means less competition for the real individual who will strive by bringing to the internet that new gold standard that is authenticity.
I enjoy that last part a lot. I came to a bit of a similar realization about AI. Those of us putting ourselves into our work truly will just continue to shine.
It's a bit optimistic, but it's also entirely plausible.
1) Google deindexing content that is detected as AI-generated.
2) A website like Medium (and others) are now quite aggressive about getting rid of AI-generated and "me too" content in general.
3)I personally feel extremely bored when I read AI-generated content and I think more people will shun away from it...
As an artist, I often see what AI produces visually. It really excels at creating generic stuff that has been done 10,000 times already. It's a great and powerful tool, but it won't compete with human originality. That's really a personal opinion, of course.
"Why does it bother me to imagine myself stumbling over my words while public speaking?"
This article is interesting to me. I am a standup comedian who had to fight himself to overcome his struggles and fears because of my stutter. The ego is both a friend and enemy but you have to know when it's an enemy, once you determine it's an enemy, learn to fight it. I always believed being vulnerable is really a battle of two egos, old ego and the new ego you want to take it's place
Great topic, and yes, we need to talk more about it to bring it out from the shadows of "shame".
Two things come up for me here: one, we instinctively look for authenticity in other people's behaviour, and when we feel it, we relax and allow ourselves to be who we are.
By the way, I prefer to use the word 'authentic' rather than 'vulnerable' as the latter has a disempowering connotation of being 'exposed' which immediately activates the ego to shut it down and raise the wall of protection. Being authentic is not threatening to the ego. It means 'this is who I am'.
Secondly, whether in the spotlight on stage or in daily life, the best way to combat the fear of being judged is to laugh at our mistakes, imperfections and faux pas; to acknowledge them rather than trying to hide. Initially, it takes courage, but soon becomes a habit when we notice its disarming effect on others.
I like the note on vocabulary. I'm a big fan of being intentional with word choice, so I'll take note of that one. Thank you!!
When doing open mics, I'll start with a trashy piece so the screw up is intentional - helps me relax.
Brilliant. Honestly.
If you look vulnerable and stupid, but you're a tight-knit net, it'll be different. You can avoid them and accept them as stupid
Thanks for saying this! It’s definitely important and timely with tech takeover. I feel authentic/vulnerable with what I share here, but keep going anyway as I stop taking myself and my story so seriously!
I'd like a stick pin to pop the proverbial balloon. Not yours, Aidan... But when did "BE"-ing Human go out of style? And who said we couldn't be just that...human?
As for me?
I'll opt The Road Less Traveled.
I like being me, I like being real, authentic, and as genuine as I can be...
And while I am certainly imperfect, and yes...it's not fun to have mud on my face after I fall down...
I get back up, smile that sheepish smile, and realize it's exactly my imperfections that keep me humble and truly ADD to...not take away, from my Human experience.
I'm done being a clone, having the world's expectations put on me, and i even wear my sweats to church if I decide to.
Our Hearts are what matters.
Are we kind? Loving? Honest? And yes...are we brave enough to have that vulnerability and simply be free? Comfortable in our own unique "Skin."
:)
Very well said 😌
I am a preacher. I am known as an incredible preacher. I own it. People tell me about sermons I preached thirty years ago. Then in my new position, in the last two weeks I have preached two duds. Not poorly written. Just did not fit the congregations. Fell flat. And I have decided that it is a developmental milestone. I cannot set for myself the expectation that every single sermon I ever preach in my life will be a barn burner. That flat sermon is so last week. And the other is so two weeks ago. Not fun, but I can relax. This week, on the other hand, I will enjoy...
Sounds like you’ve got the mindset down pat 😌
Aidan,I liked your post and it came at just the perfect time. It is the first post I have read of yours and will continue to read more. I have been trying for hours to find out why the first Substack I posted yesterday is blank. Since I am technologically challenged I have been unable to understand what I need to do to correct this situation. Have I embarrassed myself? I think so. In the process I intend to keep learning. I love to write and now I have the time. Thanks for inspiring me to continue searching, learning and not requiring myself to be perfect.
I really appreciate hearing this! It’s great to know that things I’m saying are having even just a small impact 😌
It makes sense that whether it's online or in real life, it's normal to feel the desire to present yourself under the best light. We basically market our existence. However, marketing one's existence by sharing bits of life and opinion should not mean being phony. Authenticity today more than ever before is a valuable asset and, in my opinion, in very short supply.
I find that there is a relation between vulnerability and authenticity.
Whether we are talking about writing, ideas, or personality in general, I'm sure we can agree that differentiation is key. It's basically elements with peculiar character that make the world interesting.
The negative way to say this is that the more we standardize things (people or thought) the more the world becomes boring.
That's the beauty of mistakes from time to time – they're unexpected and off track. Some of the best cooking recipes are either the result of mistakes or the result of lack of plan... cooking with leftovers, for example. That applies to invention as well...
I would say that Instagram has done a great job at creating in people's minds the idea that the image of someone is way more important than the person themselves.
As for writers, I'm sure some of you have read articles that feel cold and where the author seems not there... a cold sequence of words with 0 degrees of vulnerability where AI took over.
I used to feel depressed about that... but finally became more cynical to realize that this over-curated presented self also means less competition for the real individual who will strive by bringing to the internet that new gold standard that is authenticity.
I enjoy that last part a lot. I came to a bit of a similar realization about AI. Those of us putting ourselves into our work truly will just continue to shine.
It's a bit optimistic, but it's also entirely plausible.
Thanks for reading <3
Well, there are a few facts to keep in mind:
1) Google deindexing content that is detected as AI-generated.
2) A website like Medium (and others) are now quite aggressive about getting rid of AI-generated and "me too" content in general.
3)I personally feel extremely bored when I read AI-generated content and I think more people will shun away from it...
As an artist, I often see what AI produces visually. It really excels at creating generic stuff that has been done 10,000 times already. It's a great and powerful tool, but it won't compete with human originality. That's really a personal opinion, of course.
This is a really good piece to dwell on👏
Appreciate you 🫶🏼
Hi! I am new to substack and I wrote about my own personal journey with vulnerability!
I adored your take on it and I agree that we all need to practice compassion instead of constantly critiquing ourselves. <3
Can’t wait to hear your take myself 😌
I’ve no presence in social media and it’s great for my mental health and productivity
Oh how I envy you, hahaha
"Why does it bother me to imagine myself stumbling over my words while public speaking?"
This article is interesting to me. I am a standup comedian who had to fight himself to overcome his struggles and fears because of my stutter. The ego is both a friend and enemy but you have to know when it's an enemy, once you determine it's an enemy, learn to fight it. I always believed being vulnerable is really a battle of two egos, old ego and the new ego you want to take it's place
I think that's a super interesting perspective. I've never imagined it as a battle like that before. I like it.
I got it from Creed :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIsChfMANaE
Hahahaha, love it 😌